Not very long ago in time... the Neanderthals lived by the rule of daggers and axes... the spill-overs of those in this sophisticated age and time now fancy the use of brain for a change... Beware of them, cos they always move around in groups for fear of attack from the superior race. They are called Shiv Sane-Dicks and they are so obsessive about guarding their autonomy, their existence, that they shun parting from anything that has to do with them... every bit of them is precious... even their faeces and so they don’t let it drain... they carry it around in their brain... explains why their heads are so full of crap.
Their last survivors are scattered around pockets in Maharashtra where they have spread havoc by applying rules from their era... no one can kiss in public areas, Bihari population is not allowed entry into what they call their domain and this one is especially interesting... they are trying to champion the Hindi Language... all shops, offices, public and private places have to have their names engraved in Hindi along with their English counterparts....
So the other day I came across a particularly interesting Hindi version of a book shop’s name... Lundmark (Dick-Mark) for Landmark... explains why a man called Ball-Thak-Re (literally translates to “Balls are tired”) would have suggested this absurd rule. So tired of using his balls that he prefers using his brain over them... god knows how his poor wife manages...
But that’s exactly what a highly accomplished journalist asked him once on a highly accomplished TV show...
Journalist: So Mr. Ball Thank-re (BTR)... what does your wife do?
BTR: She doesn’t have to do much... I have an entire Sena (Army) to do her... Oh! I mean to do for her...
Journo: So what does your Sena do when it’s not doing your... I mean, doing for your wife...
BTR: Oh! Then it’s doing those who are doing out in the open.
Journo: Oh but Ball you should atleast allow people to do out in the open on Valentine’s Day... it’s a day of love...
BTR: We don’t stop anyone from doing... we just ask them to keep their eyes open while they do... our Sane-Dicks could be round the corner... Besides, we did a Dick-Stick survey and we found out that our policies are widely accepted...
Journo: One of them being you hatred for the Biharis... What do you have against them?
BTR: I don’t have anything against them. I just don’t like the balls of their Hairy-eared leader... they are like amoeba man! He’s produced 9 off-springs through them and they are still going strong.
Journo: Oh! So it’s really about the Balls at the end of it... explains your interest in cricket... I heard you recently wrote an open letter of discontent to Sachin Tendulkar condemning his statement “I am an Indian first and a Maharashtrian later...” must have been hard-on you to take this nonsense...
BTR: Oh! By the grace of Shivaji, I am never subject to hard-on (s). It was a common place matter and I wrapped it off by warning him to keep his balls confined to the cricket field...
Journo: Well played sir! Thank you so much for this enlightening talk. I’m sorry I can’t get up... my balls are stuck to the seat...
BTR: Bollocks!!
This is sooooo funny. You must put it up somewhere for all to see.
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