Sunday, April 10, 2011

I am an innuendo!

Who is to be blamed for the way my life is shaping up? Clearly it is me... Closing in at 30 at such a menacing speed is sometimes un-nerving... you don't really know which door to stop the flood from gushing in...

Honestly however, mostly I believe it is not me... not me to be blamed at all... or that is how I console myself most of the times... it is this world... and the fact that it is damn well built from the point of view of a man... everywhere there are tall erections

or pot - holes... to bind things together you need to screw them... Everything is an innuendo really and the most abused of all innuendoes are women... we are not we, for we mostly preen ourselves elaborately into the ceremonial robes of our masters.

Yes I believe I am an innuendo! So sometime last year amidst the galore of a die-hard romance, I decided to become a wag of Sumeet and quit India in almost a jest thence moving to London with him.

What followed was a narrative of bitter exploits... A year of studying at one of the world’s best known War Studies Departments as the elder-most student in a class of some really beautiful men... life was quipping at me!

Studies were followed by a period of hiatus where I was straining my stomach with excess food... truly becoming one amongst the ‘masses’. In between of all this I landed myself a job in Singapore and here I am now... Sumeet in a faraway land... for a while I stunned myself with the rebellion... the wag had stopped swivelling as I had decided to choose career over love...

Singapore was Sumeet’s way of telling me that I can’t get really far from him... this country I tell you... it is all so sterile here... almost like a hospital... clean... quite... perfectly well planned... The most adventurous anyone can ever get here is to go to the zoo... or better still to the bird park.

No contingency can ever befall this nation for they have forestalled guards against all, but one. The only natural disaster that can take lives here is a tsunami of boredom! People are polite to the point where they say sorry to a mosquito before killing it and then clean its dead body with a hand sanitizer... may the dead lie in germless peace!

Apparently there is a joke in neighbouring Malaysia that by the road there is a cross-over bridge and the only person to use it is a Singaporean. Well... but I kind of enjoy the rule following sometimes... it is like being on liquid diet for a while to cleanse your system.

The most curious characters out here are the cab drivers... awarded the world’s most awesome cabbies and justly so! They are like fortune cookies... leaving a sweet taste at the end of every journey.

If you are a man and are looking to visit Singapore in the near future... remember to always look down when you walk... that will keep you satisfied, for soon as you look up you will see the grave injustice plopped on the longest most sensuous legs God has ever prized an entire race with. Enough said... May the smart understand while the foolish fray!

The sea is endless here... blue and bare... calm and clear. When the sun sets on it she starts to rise above and kiss him... I have seen that happen several times myself.

I come here for a random walk with myself and then get carried away by the smell of the hawker stalls... it is common culture here to eat out every single meal of the day...  no one cooks at home... by far hence this is the only nation that has proven to be an absolute aberration to history... a people who have burnt bridges for a woman from a man’s stomach to his heart...

In all this I forgot to mention work... Work is great and so are the people here at my office in Singapore... I have managed many new relationships some of which got ruptured last week midway... makes me think why we work so much on friendships when they don’t even last that long... maybe I am just being too senile but life ain’t easy mate if you have left your partner 5000 miles away! Every need becomes immense and only friends can fulfil that repressive gap... but partially only...

Maybe then why I wrote all this today was just to tell you that I am but, an innuendo... yes I am... and so I like to be with whom, that shall lend my pun its intended meaning! Sumeet I love you!!